May112008

Go Read This: Bill Bryson's "Made In America"

My favorite writer of all time is a man named BIll Bryson. His two most popular books, at least among people I know, are “A Walk in the Woods” and, “A Short History of Nearly Everything.“ I’ve only read one Bryson book I disliked - I found “The Lost Continent” extremely, and uncharacteristically, negative - and I thought I had exhausted the catalog when I finished his latest, “The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid” shortly after it was released. But then Amazon randomly suggested a Bryson work called, “Made in America,” to me during one of my late-night drunken e-shopping sprees. I had never seen this book being sold anywhere and my mother, the biggest Bryson fan of all, hadn’t even heard of it. Being a completionist, I bought it.

And, damn, I’m glad I did.

This book is not only one of my favorite Bryson works but one of the best books I’ve read overall. The official premise of the book is an examination of the American language: where our words and phrases come from, how and why we evolved the language that we did. It sounds pretty boring, right? But Bryson could, and did, make a book about molecules and atoms engaging, so it must have been child’s play to make an interesting book about language.

Instead of writing a book about word origins, Bryson packs the title - packs it - with interesting facts and stories, not all directly word-related, but ultimately leading back to the explanation of some term, colloquialism or word. I learned that the Puritans encouraged pre-marital sex, that ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game’ has a forgotten verse, that Thomas Edison was in favor of answering the phone with a rousing “Ahoy!”, and that Chevrolet is named for a Swiss mechanic, Louis Chevrolet, who worked for Billy Durant, the founder of General Motors, and was fired for smoking a cigarette (his name was still used for the cars, though). Every page of this book has some sort of interesting little story that explains so mystery of our culture and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more.

So, if you’re a knowledge junkie and you haven’t taken the time to sink your teeth into a good title, may I suggest this never-mentioned Bill Bryson work? Why it is never mentioned is beyond me. I imagine that it’s owned by a different publisher than Bryson works with now and they’re not excited to push another company’s product but one can’t be sure. What I do know for sure, thanks to this book, is that World War II gave us the use of “fuck” in the sense of things being in bad shape - “That’s fucked up,” “We’re fucked,” etc. Thanks, Grandpa! I’d be fucked without it.

(Via streeter)

My dad switched me on to Bill Bryson way back when, when he first read ‘Neither Here Nor There’ and couldn’t stop laughing. He especially loved Bryson’s travelling partner Katz. He bought the next few books and always passed them on to me when he’d finished them. Most of the copies I’ve got now are falling apart because I’ve re-read them so many times. ‘Made In America’ is my favourite as well.

I actually quoted Bill Bryson a couple of times in essays I did at university. One time was for his description of the Italian mindset in an analysis I had to do of a Lavazza coffee advert (I’d find the quote but I actually lent the book to a friend a few weeks ago), and the other reference was from ‘Made In America’ and was about the advent of the shopping mall. I still have the pencil underlines in my copy from the chapter ‘Democratizing Luxury: Shopping in America’:

“The phenomenon that made supermarkets bloom - namely, the rise of suburbia - was responsible for another development without which modern life for millions would be unendurable: the shopping mall…”

More importantly, Mr Bryson has probably been the single greatest contributor to my ‘pub quiz’ knowledge. The amount of information that I’ve learned from reading his books is impressive. He’s like the best teacher ever. To quote another friend, “Bill Bryson is a legend!”

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3PM
“See, I’m a dreamer, man, and when I was a cook I’d always work with people who weren’t dreamers. Like, I was cooking at this restaurant and I put a hot dog on the grill and my kitchen manager came over, and he said, ‘Mitch, put the hot dog up here, in the right-hand corner of the grill, so in case you get a whole bunch of orders at once you have all this space available.’ See that’s how I knew he wasn’t a dreamer, because the day I give up my dreams is the day I have strategic grill locations.  A dreamer has a philosophy: the entire grill is hot.” 
(Photo via mitchhedberg.net)

“See, I’m a dreamer, man, and when I was a cook I’d always work with people who weren’t dreamers. Like, I was cooking at this restaurant and I put a hot dog on the grill and my kitchen manager came over, and he said, ‘Mitch, put the hot dog up here, in the right-hand corner of the grill, so in case you get a whole bunch of orders at once you have all this space available.’ See that’s how I knew he wasn’t a dreamer, because the day I give up my dreams is the day I have strategic grill locations. A dreamer has a philosophy: the entire grill is hot.”

(Photo via mitchhedberg.net)

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2AM
 (Via twink : suwaowalog : mudwerks : kayfabe)   Mike Jr was seriously going to kill Mr Smith from next door if he didn’t stop interrupting him and his dad on their morning walk.

(Via twink : suwaowalog : mudwerks : kayfabe)

Mike Jr was seriously going to kill Mr Smith from next door if he didn’t stop interrupting him and his dad on their morning walk.

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May102008
There’s a bird round here that, somewhere between midnight and 7am, likes to attack windscreen wipers and tear off the rubber blades.  I know it’s a bird because you can see its dirty fricking bird footprints all over the windscreen when you get in the car.   I think it’s either that crow or magpie (it’s one bird, I’m just not sure what kind it is) that is always hanging around.  
It’s happened three times in the last week.  Twice, I’ve got in my car in the morning, turned my wipers on and the rubber blades have just flopped around, but were still attached.  The other time, the rubber followed the wiper arm up and then just stuck on the windscreen when the arm came down again.
I’ve tried this method of protection the last three nights and it’s been successful so far.  If this doesn’t work, my next plan involves violence.

There’s a bird round here that, somewhere between midnight and 7am, likes to attack windscreen wipers and tear off the rubber blades. I know it’s a bird because you can see its dirty fricking bird footprints all over the windscreen when you get in the car. I think it’s either that crow or magpie (it’s one bird, I’m just not sure what kind it is) that is always hanging around.

It’s happened three times in the last week. Twice, I’ve got in my car in the morning, turned my wipers on and the rubber blades have just flopped around, but were still attached. The other time, the rubber followed the wiper arm up and then just stuck on the windscreen when the arm came down again.

I’ve tried this method of protection the last three nights and it’s been successful so far. If this doesn’t work, my next plan involves violence.

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3PM

The Perfect Crime

I had to get vetted by the police as part of my job and I got the all-clear yesterday.

Ha ha!  They never figured it out!

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1PM
When I snapped this photo the other night, I swear those clouds in the middle looked like three elephants walking trunk-to-tail.
Now I’m not so sure. 

When I snapped this photo the other night, I swear those clouds in the middle looked like three elephants walking trunk-to-tail.

Now I’m not so sure. 

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1AM

Go Home Productions - “Wouldn’t It Be Nice To Have A Finger Of Fudge?”

(via markv1967).

I heard about this mashup album on Chris Moyles’ breakfast show while I was still in bed this morning. They played this track and it was one of the most energising things I’ve heard in a while. For people that grew up in the 80s in the UK, the song from the Cadbury’s Fudge advert is one of the most memorable tunes ever. I think this is great.

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