Set Up Like A Deck Of Cards

These swans were huge! The one in the background seemed friendly enough but the one nearest to me was a mean son of a bitch and kept hissing and giving me the evil eye. I wanted to take a photo lower to the ground, but I figure it’s easier to run away from a standing position than a crouching one. This isn’t athletics.

There’s a bird round here that, somewhere between midnight and 7am, likes to attack windscreen wipers and tear off the rubber blades. I know it’s a bird because you can see its dirty fricking bird footprints all over the windscreen when you get in the car. I think it’s either that crow or magpie (it’s one bird, I’m just not sure what kind it is) that is always hanging around.

It’s happened three times in the last week. Twice, I’ve got in my car in the morning, turned my wipers on and the rubber blades have just flopped around, but were still attached. The other time, the rubber followed the wiper arm up and then just stuck on the windscreen when the arm came down again.

I’ve tried this method of protection the last three nights and it’s been successful so far. If this doesn’t work, my next plan involves violence.

These guys have been coming back every spring/summer for the last five years now. They’re practically pets. I call them Ike and Tina. Tina wears the pants. Ike just watches her back and picks up scraps whenever he can.

After I took this photo, Tina kept running towards me and gently bumped into my leg. I think she thought I had food.