Set Up Like A Deck Of Cards

Watching friends and family greet each other at the airport is really enjoyable.

Father’s Day

My parents are on holiday in the USA for the next three weeks, which means that they’re away for Father’s Day, so we’ve bought cards and have given them to our mum to give to dad on the day.

I like my card. It has a black and white photo of a thoughful-looking middle-aged guy on the front with the caption “Dad had finally got himself an email address and a webcam. Now all he had to do was work out how to turn the computer on.”

Inside, I’ve written the standard ‘Happy Father’s Day, Love Mark’ message, but on the inside cover, I’ve written:

“Just to let you know, we decided to have a party at the house while you guys were away.

We only invited a few friends, but it seemed like half the town showed up!

The good news is that everyone seemed to have a really good time.

The bad news is that the front door is missing, the garage roof has a huge hole in it and the police haven’t found your car yet.

Other than that, everything is fine here.

Hope you guys are having a great time!

Love,

Mark”

I can’t wait until he opens it.

Go Read This: Bill Bryson’s “Made In America”

My favorite writer of all time is a man named BIll Bryson. His two most popular books, at least among people I know, are “A Walk in the Woods” and, “A Short History of Nearly Everything.“ I’ve only read one Bryson book I disliked - I found “The Lost Continent” extremely, and uncharacteristically, negative - and I thought I had exhausted the catalog when I finished his latest, “The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid” shortly after it was released. But then Amazon randomly suggested a Bryson work called, “Made in America,” to me during one of my late-night drunken e-shopping sprees. I had never seen this book being sold anywhere and my mother, the biggest Bryson fan of all, hadn’t even heard of it. Being a completionist, I bought it.

And, damn, I’m glad I did.

This book is not only one of my favorite Bryson works but one of the best books I’ve read overall. The official premise of the book is an examination of the American language: where our words and phrases come from, how and why we evolved the language that we did. It sounds pretty boring, right? But Bryson could, and did, make a book about molecules and atoms engaging, so it must have been child’s play to make an interesting book about language.

Instead of writing a book about word origins, Bryson packs the title - packs it - with interesting facts and stories, not all directly word-related, but ultimately leading back to the explanation of some term, colloquialism or word. I learned that the Puritans encouraged pre-marital sex, that ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game’ has a forgotten verse, that Thomas Edison was in favor of answering the phone with a rousing “Ahoy!”, and that Chevrolet is named for a Swiss mechanic, Louis Chevrolet, who worked for Billy Durant, the founder of General Motors, and was fired for smoking a cigarette (his name was still used for the cars, though). Every page of this book has some sort of interesting little story that explains so mystery of our culture and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more.

So, if you’re a knowledge junkie and you haven’t taken the time to sink your teeth into a good title, may I suggest this never-mentioned Bill Bryson work? Why it is never mentioned is beyond me. I imagine that it’s owned by a different publisher than Bryson works with now and they’re not excited to push another company’s product but one can’t be sure. What I do know for sure, thanks to this book, is that World War II gave us the use of “fuck” in the sense of things being in bad shape - “That’s fucked up,” “We’re fucked,” etc. Thanks, Grandpa! I’d be fucked without it.

(Via streeter)

My dad switched me on to Bill Bryson way back when, when he first read ‘Neither Here Nor There’ and couldn’t stop laughing. He especially loved Bryson’s travelling partner Katz. He bought the next few books and always passed them on to me when he’d finished them. Most of the copies I’ve got now are falling apart because I’ve re-read them so many times. ‘Made In America’ is my favourite as well.

I actually quoted Bill Bryson a couple of times in essays I did at university. One time was for his description of the Italian mindset in an analysis I had to do of a Lavazza coffee advert (I’d find the quote but I actually lent the book to a friend a few weeks ago), and the other reference was from ‘Made In America’ and was about the advent of the shopping mall. I still have the pencil underlines in my copy from the chapter ‘Democratizing Luxury: Shopping in America’:

“The phenomenon that made supermarkets bloom - namely, the rise of suburbia - was responsible for another development without which modern life for millions would be unendurable: the shopping mall…”

More importantly, Mr Bryson has probably been the single greatest contributor to my ‘pub quiz’ knowledge. The amount of information that I’ve learned from reading his books is impressive. He’s like the best teacher ever. To quote another friend, “Bill Bryson is a legend!”