Set Up Like A Deck Of Cards

This is seriously a photo of me as a kid standing beside a chimpanzee next to a swimming pool. It was taken in Spain somewhere in the early 80s. I don’t actually remember it.

Reinforcing the vending machine hate, a friend tried to buy a Twirl today. The machine dropped the bar, but it bounced off the glass/top of the flap’s hinge and bounced back onto the top of the food on the bottom rack.

I wish I could have actually been there to see this happen.

“See, I’m a dreamer, man, and when I was a cook I’d always work with people who weren’t dreamers. Like, I was cooking at this restaurant and I put a hot dog on the grill and my kitchen manager came over, and he said, ‘Mitch, put the hot dog up here, in the right-hand corner of the grill, so in case you get a whole bunch of orders at once you have all this space available.’ See that’s how I knew he wasn’t a dreamer, because the day I give up my dreams is the day I have strategic grill locations. A dreamer has a philosophy: the entire grill is hot.”

(Photo via mitchhedberg.net)

(Via twink : suwaowalog : mudwerks : kayfabe)

Mike Jr was seriously going to kill Mr Smith from next door if he didn’t stop interrupting him and his dad on their morning walk.

The candy machine in our breakroom is a jerk.

(Via chloesanchez: energyface)

The machine in our place must be related to it. Bastard owes me 50p.